By Jeff Crane
The stench and mantra about Maricopa is not from the lovable Milky Way dairy (the cows are quite happy and so is their milk) or our valuable ethanol or dusty egg industries. Or corn. You moved here; deal with it.But the persistent aroma emanates from the contempt and out-and-out disregard for:
Red Lights. Or Red Scare.
Just observe or pause in any intersection.
I’ve NEVER seen this neglect of the red-light law ever ever … Not even the “California-roll orange rule.” Not in major cities, not in one-light towns, not in small towns have I’ve seen such total disregard for the Red Light than da Copa.
Apparently the Red Light is there for a reason. They stop death. Gore. Funerals. Sadness. Grief. It’s the Red Scare.
Sorry but “it was orange” just ain’t cutting it when you’re busted. The famous kinda yellow-to-red excuse doesn’t help when you cause another fatal-collision on the 347 and Riggs or John Wayne and Edison.
No matter what, no matter when, no matter where, I’ve seen 100% of drivers go through red lights. OK, maybe 98%. The other 2% were the ambulance drivers going to a 347-Riggs fatality. Scientific, no. Eyeball, yes. Understandable, a huge 25-ton 18-wheeler can’t exactly stop within 100 feet on Smith-Enke hauling lumber stresses for another new subdivision. Then that ONE bumper-sucker thinks: “Why can’t I?” Then another!
From 347 into Fry’s or onto Edison to find old shorts in Goodwill or 347 turning to Honeycutt and, especially, east onto Smith-Enke from John Wayne, drivers love to run red lights. Seems like the Summer Olympics 200-meter high hurdles and get a thrill to be home 34 seconds earlier than your neighbor? OK. Maybe because they are waiting on 347 with bladder issues because someone ran a red light and caused an accident and shut down 347.
Not just once a day and not just twice daily, it’s almost laughable to see red-scare runners, without break, every friggin’ red light! Or every intersection! I almost want to jump out of my car and applaud those who stop in the left-turn lane when it’s yellow! I’d give them a Culver’s gift card and – if they were using their turn signal, a bonus bag of ice.
Yes, when drivers are halfway into an intersection during the yellow light, they are legally allowed to “carry on” and turn left.
Cool. That’s the law. However. The driver behind them – picking their nose – magically gripped the bumper like Whamo Monster Magnet toys and follow like a kindergartner classmate waiting for recess. OK. A 1% approval.
Then. THEN. A 1% approval Camry driver, worried and following her daughter’s first-driver home, tags along as the oncoming cross-traffic honks, flips them off and portends to T-bone the Camry’s door. They feel empowered by the magnet; not ruled by the red – or yellow – light. At that point, the evil 347 is blocked up to Wild Horse Pass and the festering cycle continues.
You observe and – as the green light switches for you – you’ll shake your head as someone runs the red scare. And another.
Flipping them off doesn’t help. And just not worth it. Now it’s time to mention the stop signs.
Jeff Crane is a resident of Maricopa.