The Valley of the Shadow

The phone usually rings in the middle of the night. “This is Pinal County Dispatch… ” says the voice on the other end. “Maricopa PD would like some assistance on a death notification,” or “there’s been a suicide and the family needs help.”

You might have seen recently here and in other places the focus on suicide in Maricopa. Desperate people take what they feel is the only option left. But what it leaves behind is grief so painful that it can spiral a family out of control.

The two things I have to do in these circumstances is to comfort and inform a family and friends as well as be on the lookout for “after effects,” where a survivor is more prone to attempt suicide themselves.

As a Chaplain with PCSO and a pastor of a church, most people expect that I know the answers in these situations. Not necessarily so. In fact, I need to be careful for myself that I don’t allow the waves of grief to wash over me and overwhelm me. In the last two weeks I’ve responded to three fatalities and three suicides, lost a dear friend of my own family, and a pastor we know lost his son in a tragic accident. What I dealt with during those days was mind numbing. But out of these times came some incredible hope and solace. That’s what I want to share with you today.

Many people share the 23rd Psalm at funerals. “The Lord is my Shepherd I shall not want…though I walk through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, I will fear no evil for you are with me…” The key to this verse is that “you are with me.” When you walk through a hard place, a death-filled place, the Bible tells us that God will walk with you. Even in the midst of the grief that comes in these times are realizations of God’s presence.

I remember sitting with a group of shocked survivors after Ray Morrow’s death along with Pastor Rusty Akers, another chaplain. As we sat there sharing what we knew and how to walk through these times, we saw many reminisce about Ray and what he had meant to them. Just being there was enough to allow people to walk through that Valley. When faced with grief, we dare not isolate ourselves for long.

There are people who will walk with you in the Valleys of Shadow. You don’t need to fear the evil. Ultimately, God Himself will walk with you.

Suicide is not a solution. Suicide is not a sacrifice. Suicide is sorrow multiplied. Finances will turn around. Life will rebound. But for that to happen in many people’s lives, they need someone to walk in the Valley with them. If you know someone in your family or circle of friends who is struggling, take the time to walk and talk with them. Let them know that you are there. And if you are struggling right now, take the time to reach out.

Survivors never completely recover from these events, but Hope manages to heal much of it. How do I know? I live with my own grief and the grief of hundreds of people who walk through the Valley together. But the sun is shining on the other side.

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