Weeks after my first son was born premature, I thought that I was going to lose it.
Beautiful and wrinkly, he had come into the world quiet. His cries resembled the weakest of a new kitten’s meows. As the days ticked by, he grew increasingly dissatisfied and spent more and more of his time screaming. I would walk him around, fill his belly with warm milk, rock him or tuck him into one of the multitude of plastic bouncers and spinners that I was told every new mom needed. Nothing worked.
As the days carried on, I felt like a failure. I would call my older sister and sobbingly confess to having daydreams of a mute button and to feelings of resentment at being so incapable. I found myself locked in the laundry room one day, a giant bar of dark chocolate in one hand and the telephone in the other when it dawned on me… he wasn’t broken; he was high needs.
In essence this meant that he was super sensitive to everything, including changes of any type, movement, stimulation and temperature. My sister brought me my very first wrap, and, after learning how to tie the expanse of stretchy cotton around me, I tucked him in close to my chest. He stopped crying. That day, I started a love affair with baby wearing.
Baby wearing, or the act of placing a child in a carrier on one’s body, is not a new invention. It has been around as long as humans have had babies. It is present in all parts of history, in all cultures, in all socioeconomic strata. In the United States the most common carriers are soft-structured carriers made to wear babies facing outward. There are also ring-slings, rebozos, carriers specifically made to carry babies on one’s back, mei tai’s and simple pieces of cloth. In fact, there are as many variations on different carriers as there are variations in culture, use and practice. In a pinch, I have even used some woven scarves and sarongs to wear my babies, when a formal carrier was unavailable.
Baby wearing has many advantages. First of all, it soothes the baby, as in my case, by creating a secondary womb. When worn tummy to tummy, my son could nestle his ear right against my chest, not only leading to a facilitation of breastfeeding, but also the constant and calming soundtrack of my heartbeat, breath and voice. The cloth provided a comfort layer between him and the world. He could tuck his head towards me when he needed to sooth, but also could peek adventurously outward when he felt able to. He was able to learn how to self-regulate. He could see and learn about the world from an adult’s perspective. In contrast to a stroller, which places his eyes at knee level, or a car seat which allowed him to stare into the sky or at a ceiling, when worn he could smile into other faces and watch real world interactions. He has always been a functional part of the scene, not an accessory.
As our family grew from one child to two, baby wearing became even more essential. In fact, it became life saving. One day, my oldest son, 3, fell underneath a moving vehicle. It was only because his brother was safely strapped to my back that I had the few hundredths of a second to reach in and pull him out before the car accelerated down the hill. Hundredths of a second, which would have otherwise been spent figuring out a safe place to put his infant brother or setting down a car seat.
The most functional and logical reason to baby wear, though, is the fact that with my youngest son on my back, my hands are free—free to build, create, chase, shop, write or, in this case, type. As I sit now at my desk, my youngest is on my back in a soft carrier, snoring gently into my ear. With slings and carriers at my disposal, I have never had to amend a plan due to nap times. If baby gets tired, I just strap him on and let him sleep. This has been particularly useful as our family has grown.
Sadly, though, baby wearing recently came under attack due to a particularly ill-constructed carrier, which was unsafe to use for very young infants. The CPSC issued a warning against bag-style slings, citing suffocation hazards due to the construction and design flaws. The sling in question, the Infantino SlingRider, was sold at large stores like Target, alongside the Bjorn and Moby Wrap. Within the baby wearing community we have known about the dangers of bag slings for a long time, and have spent years cautioning parents against their usage. However, the CPSC warning came too late for fourteen babies. After years of deaths, complaints and legal warnings, the CPSC statement prompted a recall of the SlingRider bag slings in March 2010.
This is a good thing. This was a step in the right direction. Baby wearing is an amazing tool, if done safely and properly. However, the CPSC warning did not specify a specific make or brand in the statement, leading many in the general public to deduce that all baby slings are inherently dangerous. That is simply untrue.
To ensure that your baby is safe and secure while baby wearing, it is important to follow these guidelines:
- Make sure that the infant is completely supported by your hands while securing the carrier.
- Make sure that the head is in a comfortable, supported position, NOT chin to chest. If the child’s chin is touching his or her chest, then the airway can become restricted or obstructed.
- Do not allow fabric to cover the child’s face.
- Always make sure that there is enough fabric underneath the child’s rear end to create a safe hammock-like pocket. In soft carriers, such as wraps, slings, and rebozos, this fabric should come all the way down to the child’s knees if the child is in a sitting or upright position.
- The fabric in the carrier should be tight, as tight as you would hold the child in your arms, and firm, but not enough to restrict breathing. If your child is swaying or dangling, that is a huge warning sign that the carrier is not tight enough.
Baby wearing is part of my life now. My youngest finds his way onto my back every single day. Yesterday it was while I ran his brother into preschool and went grocery shopping. Tomorrow, it will be a trip to the post office, packages in hand. In fact, I know people who don’t even recognize me without a baby on my back! With an over-the-shoulder perspective on the world, I know that my children are calm, secure and constantly learning in their carriers. What more could a mom ask for? Except, that is, maybe a laundry room and some more dark chocolate…
Kristi Cesare, is a regional distributor for No Mother Left Behind, a charity focused on getting free slings for mothers in need. See www.nomotherleftbehind.weebly.com for details on how to apply or contribute. For questions related to this article or for baby wearing advice or tips, email [email protected], or go to www.TheBabywearer.com.
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