What’s up with unanswered prayer?

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“God, why don’t you answer my prayer?” Who knows, that may be the one of the most common prayers lifted to God.

Millions of people pray every day, and many of those prayers seemingly go unanswered. A child prays for a new bike but doesn’t get it. A teenage girl prays that some nice boy would find her attractive, but it doesn’t happen. A husband prays for the healing of a partner with cancer, but then that loved one dies. When we shower God with pleas and promises and still don’t get what we want, many of us are left wondering what went wrong? Did I not pray the right way?

There is no right or wrong way to pray. Prayer is simply a conversation with God. The Bible says it’s simply talking with God. Prayer is pouring out your heart, your dreams, your hopes, your gratitude to God, and it’s also about listening to God. Sometimes, instead of thinking of prayer as a conversation, we think of prayer as a way to get God to give us what we want.

Many of us believe that an answered prayer is one in which we get what we ask for. Ask God for a Lexus – get one. Ask God for a raise in salary – get one. Ask God for a wonderful husband – get one. And if you don’t get what you want then God must not have answered your prayer. To put it another way, some people believe that God is a cosmic vending machine. All you have to do is put in a coin, and you get what you want. Or to use another metaphor, instead of God being the Master and we being God’s servants, we see ourselves being the masters and God as the errand boy. We tell God what we want, and it’s God’s job to get it for us. It’s a pretty distorted understanding of prayer.

Prayer is less about asking God for stuff and is much more about putting ourselves in the very presence of God. Every day people are diagnosed with some pretty awful conditions; some are life threatening and they pray to be healed, and it doesn’t happen. Every day people face a variety of problems and they pray that God will take away their problem, but the problem remains. The Bible, in 2 Corinthians 12:7-10, tells a story about a man named Paul who was given a thorn in the flesh; he suffered greatly, and he prayed three times that God would remove this thorn, but God never did. Instead God said, “I am with you; that is all you need.”

Everyone has a thorn in his or her life. Maybe you’re dealing with health issues, and you’re not getting better. Maybe it’s problems with your kids, or your parents. Maybe it’s a mistake you’ve made that now you have to live with. Maybe there is something that you really want to happen in your life, and it’s not happening. Sometimes, for reasons only known by God, God says “no” to fixing our problems, but God does promise to hold us in God’s arms, to wipe away our tears and to give us the strength to get through the hurt, the pain, the grief and the disappointment. Just because you don’t get what you asked for doesn’t mean you are praying wrong or that you’ve done something to push God away.

There are times in life when what we get isn’t answered prayer but, something far more important, God’s presence and the strength that comes from God to live through the struggles of life.

Kevin Kloster is the pastor of Journey United Methodist Church. For more information about Journey, check out www.journeyunitedmethodist.com.

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