Buddy systems take aim at bullies

The answer to the bully for many is the buddy.

Structured buddy systems that encourage and empower children to positively join in a supportive network aimed at preventing bullying are becoming more prevalent nationwide.

A new free seminar is spreading across Maricopa, encouraging children to help targets of bullying to avoid isolation.

In the wake of a December incident in which a 13-year-old Maricopa Wells Middle School student was accused of biting a 15-year-old fellow student on a portion of her left breast during a hug, local schools and youth groups are debating ways to end bullying.

“What we try to do is give kids the ability to think properly when confronted with situations and understand how best to escape situations safely,” said Lee Feiles, owner of ATA Martial Arts and Karate for Kids of Maricopa, which is offering the program Kids ‘N Power. “We empower kids with the confidence to make good choices. That’s really the key.”

Feiles provides free community anti-bullying seminars quarterly through the city’s parks programs and also upon request. He’s visited classrooms and Girl Scout troops during the past year and hopes to visit more.

His focus has been on ending one thing he said is key to bullies having a chance to terrorize a victim – isolation.

“One of the issues we’re finding right now in regards to bullying is a proper support network being in place,” he said. “We help to develop the defender network. Those are the people who are looking out for their friends, watching out for people who are isolated and by themselves, who don’t have friends. Identify hot spots and avoid those situations.”

The idea is to educate children to avoid situations where they are in isolation and vulnerable – and to also teach them to join together and take the power away from the aggressor by forming a support system.

“The thing we’re trying to do now is new, within the last five years. The trend today has really become for people to try to find out how this is happening and how we do stop it,” Feiles said. “Back in the old days, bullying was just a part of growing up. You take your licks, they make you stronger; suck it up.”

Kids ‘N Power is a nationally licensed program that ties in with tai kwon do, an art that teaches students the importance of leadership, personal development and self defense. Students can move forward beyond the seminar to learn defense. The seminar itself helps kids act out possible situations and how to respond in advance of an incident in a safe way.

“What most kids realize through the training is that it doesn’t take a lot of physical power,” Feiles said. “You don’t have to jump in front of somebody and get into a fight. It is really about taking power away from those who want to isolate weaker kids. When you take that power away, then acts of bullying tend to taper off.”

Local sports groups also incorporate some buddy systems to help instill an understanding about diversity that could change the mindset of bullying, said Robert Woodruff, safety officer for Maricopa Little League.

On April 22, the league will host what they call the first Challenger Jamboree in Arizona, connecting their players as Challenger buddies to special-needs players.

“It’s positive reinforcement,” he said. “How to interact with people who may have a handicap or be different from you.”

League President Heather Diamond added the league accepts youth of all playing abilities and works on good sportsmanship and team building. “We get our kids to step out of the box and help kids they might not always have a chance to get to know.”

Just weeks after the middle school incident took place, Maricopa Unified School District’s governing board has discussed an expansion of its current use of buddy systems.

“Obviously bullying is something that is an ongoing issue in schools nationwide, in our state and our district and obviously something we pay attention to,” said Superintendent Steve Chestnut.

The schools all require students to sign a standard, traditional, student discipline code of conduct. In addition, the district has been using buddy or support systems to connect middle and high school students, and recently discussed introducing a new program to elementary schools. High schools offer Link Crew, which provides a junior or senior mentor to all incoming freshmen, “to make them feel included and welcome,” Chestnut said.

“At middle school, we’re trying to create an environment where kids follow school rules with clear expectations,” he added. At Maricopa Wells, the program Raising Students Panther Style helps kids identify positive behaviors “that can be sources of support and help them succeed.”

In elementary schools, character education is featured, which emphasizes positive traits like truthfulness, or being ethical and loyal. Wade Watson, the district curriculum director, recently presented the idea of Peaceful Playgrounds, a program that also uses teamwork and sports activities as a method to build camaraderie. The program also avoids isolation, and instead organizes noncompetitive activities aimed at reducing aggression and increasing supportive friendships.

Middle schools will also gain new allies as the district prepares to expand from one school resource officer in the high school, to a total of three, with two stationed in middle schools, Chestnut said.

“They do a nice job of having good relationships with the kids, talking with the students,” he said. “And preventing a lot of problems before they ever happen.”

***ADVERTISEMENT***Bully incidents can range from physical to the world of social media, and Chestnut said the district doesn’t have a figure on how many occur. But teachers and principals are tasked with being on the frontlines of preventing and ending anything they see, he said.

To Danika Salah, so far it’s not been enough. After going as far as inviting NFL player Levar Fisher to provide bully prevention to her school, Danika has since removed her children from Maricopa Elementary in favor of Legacy Traditional charter school.

While there are teachers and others who work hard to end and prevent bullying, she said there were too many others who didn’t do anything about a situation, or would “take the easy way out.”

“I understand that no school can eradicate this,” she said. “The main thing is if a parent can educate herself and her child on what’s acceptable and what’s not. Teach your kids to steer clear from aggressive behavior. And document each incident.”

And she pointed out — don’t behave in a way that you want your child to avoid. That includes what may seem like innocent gossip around children. Instead, offer yourselves or other safe adults as resources kids will trust and come to when they need help.

“The more negative you are,” she said, “the harder the situation will be.”