Forget restaurant raves — in the wild world of Yelp, criminal arrests are the new five-star salute.
Would you online critics give the same sparkling recommendation to a cop as you would a memorable dining experience? Surprisingly, the answer for some is a resounding yes.
Here are five head-turning reviews we came across for Maricopa’s boys — and girls — in blue.
A five-star DUI
Six years ago, William Bracken left an unexpected five-star Google review of Maricopa’s finest after a traffic stop that would have been a nightmare for most.
“I was arrested for DUI a few weeks ago,” Bracken wrote. “The officer that drew my blood was just as kind and respectful asking if I needed water and thanked me for my military service.”
This review garnered a half-dozen likes.
That escalated quickly
Joan Rouse left a positive Facebook review in 2020 with grandmotherly offers for MPD officers — drinks, snacks and even a comforting hug. But like Will Ferrell in Anchorman, things escalated quickly she offered the following:
“If you need additional ammo, just ask. If you need backup, I will stand with you.”
While civilians furnishing police with firepower is likely not best practice, acting as “backup” could be considered a federal crime.
Short and not-so-sweet
Not everyone gave the PD such glowing feedback. Trevor Pearson kept his April 2022 Facebook review concise with just four words: “taxpayer funded domestic terrorists.”
That’s a strong take for someone who still managed to recommend the department.
In a 2018 Facebook review, another online critic boldly questioned, “Where’s Daddy?” — and gave a resounding recommendation.
This review may have been intended for the cops in a tiny California city also called Maricopa, but it was too good to leave out. A San Francisco Yelper left the following five-star review in 2011:
“First and foremost, Patrol Cars are supposed to look ‘aggressive’ and intimidating. That’s why police don’t drive VWs with little flowers on the dashboard … So, quit your b*tching.”